Editor's Note: This was my first essay about living with HIV.
Since this was published, I have been approached by gay men from all over the globe who disclosed their HIV-positive status in confidence.
How honest are we about the impact HIV has upon our intimate relationships?
For me these questions have become ever more relevant.
I was tested positive for HIV two days later at Salisbury Hospital.
'I grew up in a small Wiltshire village called West Tytherley and it was hard to keep any secrets – so in September 1997, two months after I was diagnosed HIV-positive, I decided to stop all the gossiping and make an announcement.
The silence afterwards was deafening, so I walked to the bar and ordered a JD and coke.
Rachel Dilley, a 49-year-old charity worker from Harpenden in Hertfordshire, was diagnosed HIV-positive ten years ago.
The mum of three – and grandmother of four – had unprotected sex with a man she met through internet dating.